Stillness, peace, and quiet spread all around, and the light green of the marshes denotes the early Spring. Miles and miles of marsh grasses grow exactly the same height and seem to disappear into the horizon.
"Who mows all that?" comments JB, waxing philosophical as he gazes over the arc of his rod and reel to ponder the carefully landscaped panorama.
"God mows it," replies JR knowingly.
Just then, JB pulls a big fat fish from the water on his side of the boat. It's a beautiful white and gray Sea Trout that flops its way into the boat and flips off the hook just in time to land in the cooler.
"Good one," comments JR.
"What's bothering you, anyway?" asks JB. "You been thinking too much."
"You really want to know?"
"Yeah, tell me."
"I think we're dead," says JR.
"What?! Why?" exclaims a shocked JB.
Just then JB gets a big hit on his line that nearly snatches it from his hands. "Woooohoooo! Wonder what it could be?" He wrestles the fish for the rod and reel.
JR sees his buddy is getting frantic with fear, so he decides to see if he can arrange a rescue. "Look, JB!" he says, pointing into the sky. "There's a helicopter come to save us!"
Page 1 - Gone Fishing, Really Gone | Are We Dead? | The Rescue
Copyright Notice - Disk of the World - Text and images copyrighted March 21, 1993-2023, Claire Grace Watson, B.A., M.S.T., U.S. Copyright and under the Digital Millennium Copyright Act of 1998, All rights reserved.
"When's the last time you caught three state record Sea Trout in a row?" says JR.
"Can't remember when," says JB.
"Right."
"Could happen," theorizes JB.
"Could. But what about that King Mackerel? When's the last time you caught a forty pound King Mackerel off an oyster bed?"
"What's your point?" asks JB, a little bit dreading to hear it.
"Obviously we're dead and gone to fishing heaven. Look at this boat we're in." JR points to the dual console, the large sectional tempered glass windshield, the Pompanette captain's seat, and the tilt, stainless steel steering wheel.
"Yeah, it's nice," comments JB.
"Nice? $60,000 at least for this 22-foot runabout. Check out the salt water rods," continues JR, remarking on the selection of heavy duty fishing rods and reels. "I hope I got some money left after I paid for these rods."
"Did you pay for them? I thought I paid for them," says JB.
"Did you also pay for the boat?" asks JR.
"No, I thought you did."
"I didn't pay for it. Whose boat is this? I hope we don't wreck it," says JR.
"Wreck it? I hope we don't scratch it," says JB.
"I'll tell you something else that don't add up. You're catching salt water fish on your side of the boat and I'm catching fresh water fish on my side."
"Yeah, I wondered about that," says JB. "But maybe something got mixed up and it just happens that way sometimes."
"Maybe, but I never heard of it. And I'll tell you something else that clinches it for me."
"What's that?" asks JB.
"You know that dock we passed a little while back?"
"Yeah, what about it? I was watching the sunset."
"I saw Princess Diana standing on it. She was wearing a green Bikini."
"Uh oh."
"Yeah, that's what I'm talking about. We're dead, John Boy. We got to face it. We're dead."
JR thinks he might try a little experiment, just to see if his theory is right. "I know what it is," he says. "It's a state record Tarpon." Just as he says it, a huge Tarpon leaps into the air and gives a wicked twist to shake the hook from its mouth but it can't.
"How'd you know that?" says JB. "Man, I hope I land this fish!"
Then JR says, "It's not a Tarpon, it's an Amberjack."
Suddenly, JB's fish leaps again, but this time it's an Amberjack.
"How'd you do that?" says JB, struggling to hang onto the rod.
"It's not an Amberjack, it's a Sail Fish!"
JB's fish leaps again, this time a massive Sail Fish. "What the....?" says JB.
"It's not a Sail Fish," says JR. "It's a Great White Shark!"
"NOOO!" yells JB. But it's too late. The Great White is already under the boat and tipping it to the right and left. "Say it's a Tarpon, JR!" yells JB. "I don't want to die!"
"We can't die, JB, we're dead already," says JR calmly, as he rocks violently back and forth in the boat that the shark is steady ramming.
"I don't want to die twice!" yells JB. "Say it's a Tarpon!"
"Ok, it's a Tarpon," says JR, but the shark has taken on a life of its own and refuses to become a Tarpon. It grows a little in length and rams the boat even harder.
"Oh my God!" yells JB. "It's going to eat us, I know it is!"
JB looks up and sees the rope ladder of the helicopter descending to them. As he climbs up the ladder, he looks back just in time to see the shark swallow the most expensive boat he's ever fished out of. It just about breaks his heart and he can't help feeling a little ticked at JR, who is dangling beneath him and laughing, his body enlightened by the illusion of the setting sun.
