Page 3 - SUDDEN DEATH
A HOLE IN THE WALL
Of course I am not mad at you! I haven't written because I have been spending
time with Susan. She has suffered the worst disaster. No sooner did she and
John come back from Hong Kong than he had a heart attack and died! And he was
only 51. He was in the bathroom dressing to go to work as usual and collapsed
while straightening his tie. The paramedics revived him 5 or 6 times. He kept
dying and they kept bringing him back. He was dead when they finally got him
to the hospital. The whole thing was horrendous and has left Susan distraught,
confused and angry.
I thought I had plenty of time to meet John. I was wrong. I really know very
little about him except that he was one of IBM's leading salesmen, and that
hardly tells me anything of his personality. I guess it means he had an
aggressive personality? Or a charming personality? Or a persuasive
personality? Susan said that when he was 40 he had open-heart surgery and a
heart by-pass. When they were in Hong Kong, he gained about 40 pounds.
It has been six weeks since he died, and I only this week found out about it.
I wondered why I wasn't hearing from her but I was at the library so much I
didn't get around to calling her. Now here is the incredible thing! When I
talked with her today, she told me his spirit is still there in her house! She
says he's in her bedroom, in one spot in particular, and he moves around. He
stands by the TV in the bedroom and over by the window. Sometimes, he goes
into the bathroom like he's revisiting the last few moments of his life. She
wants me to come see her and bring the Tarot cards. She says he's trying to
tell her something, and she thinks maybe we can use the cards to find out
what it is.
Susan said when John was alive he used to argue with her about the spirit world
and the afterlife. He told her she was silly to think there was anything
happening after death except worms and the grave. She says that now that
he's spirit and trying to communicate with her, its all she can do not to say,
"I told you so." When she was in Hong Kong she went to the VitaLife Center and
took some classes in metaphysical awareness, spiritualism, reincarnation and
getting in touch with her past lives. She said John was always making fun of
her for doing that.
I wonder how a seance is held? Do you know? I saw one in the movie "The Hound
of the Baskervilles," conducted by Mrs. Mortimer. She tried to contact the
recently departed spirit of Sir Henry Baskerville, but instead contacted a
spectral hound. I hope that doesn't happen to me! Anything spectral would surely unnerve me. I saw another seance in the
movie "The Changeling," with George C. Scott. The lady who held the seance used
a cone made of some kind of light metal, aluminum perhaps. She put it in the
center of the table and when the spirit was present, the cone started moving.
I wonder if that would work? My ex-husband is in the air conditioning
business. I think I'll call him to see if he will make me a spirit cone. He's
also a karate fighter. Maybe I'll station him in the corner just in case he
needs to karate whack some evil spirits that come through the cone. Just
kidding. Hahahaha. As far as I'm concerned, he can be stationed anywhere he
wants except in a room with me.
Stranger and stranger! On top of everything else that's happening to me, I'm
having unusual dreams. I want to explain some of them to you but I hardly know
where to begin. Last night, just before I fell asleep, I meditated one of my
Tarot cards, the One of Fire-Force, also known as the Ace of Wands (Clubs. It shows a hand holding a club coming out of nowhere and suspended in air.) Then, I
dreamed I went outside my apartment and came back in through the brick wall.
As I passed through the wall I heard the bricks grinding together, like someone
was bricking up a hole in the wall. Next, I dreamed something about a hole in
the flower bed and a hole in the embankment outside. When I woke up, I went out
there to look. I went behind the shrubbery and saw a hole in the wall. It was
on a level with my bed and it had been re-bricked.
I tried so hard not to ask my landlady about it. She's a weirdo, and she's so
attached to that old house. It's a relic left over from the Civil War in Midtown. She
has a weekly regimen of inspecting every square inch of the place. I knew
better but I couldn't contain myself. I just HAD to ask. So, in the most
offhand way I could think of, I asked her about the hole. Well, of course, she
got weird on me. She demanded to know how I knew about it! I shuffled and
mumbled some answer. She got impatient with me. (She thinks I'm an idiot, but
I don't take that personally. She thinks everyone besides herself is an
idiot.) She told me, a little wild-eyed I thought, that 30 years ago she and
her husband found a huge hole in the flower bed and the embankment. They looked
everywhere for a dirt pile to account for the hole but never found one. I
mean, Carol, a big hole just mysteriously appeared overnight in the flower bed and without ever
any explanation or clue as to why! And that was 30 years ago and now I am
talking with her about it!
I told her I didn't mean THAT hole, I mean the hole in the brick wall, and she
just about screamed, "What hole?!" When I showed it to her, she was speechless,
and it takes a lot to make this woman speechless. Did I mention she's a Jehovah's Witness? The re-bricked hole is about
two feet in diameter and really hard to miss. She didn't know the hole was
there, and this might be the hole that broke the camel's back. She was so
wild-eyed looking that I regretted the whole conversation. After that day, she eyes me
like I'm a snake in the grass and about to strike. I mean, she CUTS her eyes
at me when she sees me. I think my lease may be in danger. I doubt any of this is kosher down at the Kingdom Hall. I hope
she doesn't tell them about me. They might come out here to
try to convert me. Or save me. Or confuse me. Or whatever their agenda is when
they go out visiting people.
That is not the only unusual dream I've had lately. The other night I dreamed
I was lying naked on the bed (which actually I was), and a strange woman
materialized and sat down on the bed. She wore a crystal necklace and she
placed crystals on my chest. They were quartz crystals, amethyst crystals and
some other kinds I didn't recognize. I watched her do it and wondered why she
was doing it. She took her time about it, too, carefully covering my chest in
crystals. Then, I began to feel a little nauseous and light, as if I was
dissolving, and I floated up toward the ceiling and I looked down at her and
the bed. I cannot describe the absolute joy I felt! I did loop-the-loops and
back flips, but suddenly I fell back onto the bed and couldn't float back up.
I kept trying to float up but I couldn't. Then, the
crystal woman handed me a blow dryer and told me to tie it to my butt and turn
it on, which I did. It was great! It worked like jet propulsion and blew me
right back up to the ceiling. I got so excited about the blow dryer! I asked
the woman the brand name of the dryer, and she showed it to me on the handle.
It said TER SHAT. I asked her where I could buy one and she just laughed.
When I recorded the dream, I realized TER SHAT is an anagram for The Star, a
Tarot card that means Inner Guide. There on The Star card is an image of a
naked woman. She has one foot on the ground and the other in water. Supposed to be in Tarot when you mysteriously become one of the cards, however that works, it means you are metaphysically evolving into someone represented by the card. The card itself
is supposed to mean that we live in two realms, the temporal plane of matter
and the timeless realm of spirit. In my case I think it indicates my evolution into myself-not, a crystal woman who is just someone who fully exists as she created herself and who is in the process of becoming much more than she is by discovering all the mysterious facets of herself. The woman in my dreams covering me in crystals is Crystal Claire, the name of myself-not which actually means "crystal clear" or what I am becoming.
Here is another odd thing that is going on in my dreams, but it happens before
I fall asleep. I lie down to go to sleep but just after I close my eyes, I see
an entrance into a long, winding tunnel. It's narrow, dark and circular. I
call it my spirit tunnel. I mentally enter it while I'm still awake and I fly
through it. I look around to see what I can see, but the only thing I can see,
other than the black walls of the tunnel, is the floor, which is crisscrossed
in hundreds of doubled, straight lines like a matrix or a lattice. I can open
my eyes any time but I don't want to because I want to keep seeing it. As I
fly along, I see a bright light and I fly towards it. Out loud I say, "Look
how dark the walls are. Look at the floor. What are those lines? What is that
light I keep glimpsing?" The tunnel winds hypnotically around and around, up
and down, and I fall asleep before I can reach the light. Then, after some
time, I don't know how much time, I come awake in the middle of a dream.
The other night I flew through the tunnel, fell asleep and then awoke in
ancient Greece or somewhere in the Aegean world, where everyone, including me,
was dressed in the clothes of that age. I was a soldier and I had a big sword.
I was wearing lace-up leather sandals. They fascinated me and I kept looking
down at them as I walked until I bumped into something and looked up. There around me was
the Aegean world, bright, beautiful and chaotic. The city was on fire, the
earth was shaking, the Doric columns were crashing to the ground, the buildings
were coming apart and falling down, and the people were screaming and running
in all directions. I thought, "Where in the world am I and what is
going on?" I thought I was on an island during an earthquake. You know how
you just KNOW things in dreams? I just KNEW that a tidal wave was on the way.
What a thing to suddenly know when you think it's real! I kept searching the horizon for the top of the wave but never saw it. Even in my dream it occurred to me, maybe I don't see it because I don't how to create it yet. When you are lucid like that in a dream, it's another brain wave coming through explaining reality to you, don't know which one tho.
Then, I made the reflection during this dream that I was dreaming and didn't
know where I was. I said, "I'm dreaming! What's going on? Where am I?" But
my sudden awareness of my reality didn't stop the dream and the destruction, so I took shelter by running
into a small house. I ran in and locked the door and turned around. There
inside was a family of four, a mother and father and two children. They were
huddled together in terror, all cowering closer together when they saw me, as
if they thought I was going to hit them with my sword. Then, thank God, I
awoke. I was so glad to be alive and safe in Midtown Atlanta but I was
convinced I had just had a past life experience. I was thinking about trying
to go back there to see what happened after that, but I decided it wouldn't be
good. Either I killed those people or their house fell on me, one or the other
or both. Or the tidal wave got us.
I know I was that man with the sword, but I think there must be a deeper
meaning. Was that my old life and not my past life? Was it all my old concepts crashing down
around me? And the people who feared me, were they projections of mine, images
of my old self that cowered in the presence of my new, stronger self? Well,
that's psychology for you. If nothing will confuse you, psychology will.
Where is Carl Jung when you need him? And let's don't ask Freud what it means.
He would say I ran in there to avoid a sexual conflict. He would be wrong.
Right now, there's no man in my life to be sexually conflicted about, sadly. I just want to know what it
means but I also kind of hate to find out, you know? Write soon.
How wonderful to finally get a letter from you, especially one that does not
begin with, "Woe unto thee, 0 Unbeliever!' And how sad about John. Be sure to
tell Susan I'm really sorry. It's so bad when someone dear to you dies, but to
be right there, as she was. It must have been awful.
As for my own illness, I am over the worst of the flu but I still have this
horrible, hacking, debilitating, consumptive cough that kicks in whenever I get
hot, which is why I am writing you and not jazzercising. I must either lay off
the exercise or buy Depends. I am starting back Monday, even if it means
supporting June Allyson.
About your landlady, I wouldn't mention anything else to her, no matter how
curious yellow you are. She has probably been wondering how you could have put
those holes on her property and in her house. Also, I have decided you dreamed
yourself to the fabled Atlantis, which came crashing down around you. Maybe
you were in Crete. I think I read somewhere that that island civilization was
destroyed by an earthquake. Now, there's another grammatical no-no I take
umbrage with. The "that that" combination. I like it, I'm going to say it,
and that's that. Speaking of which, I am becoming concerned about all the
wonderful south Georgia idioms dying out of the language as a result of
education (which so far isn't worth the loss of the idioms). I think I shall
purchase a Big Chief tablet and record some of my favorite ones, like "more
precious than a ruby-jewel," and "finger-ring." I especially like "Y'all come
go with us," and "I holp ya good luck." And what about "cur dog?" I love "Git
down and come on in the house." I remember you told me your Grandpa used to
tell you to "blow out the light." I thought it was wicked of you to make
blowing sounds when you switched off his light.
I've been reminiscing lately about Jessie when she was a baby. Dressing her
was so much fun. One day she was Lieutenant Uhuru Jessie, and the next she was
Spring Moon Jessie, and the next she was Clay Basket Jessie. When I gave her a
bath I would wrap her up in a bright towel, and she was Malama Jessie or Esther
Williams Jessie. I can't wait until she is old enough to play dress-up. I am
going to Goodwill and get her some fancy hats and evening dresses, and a few
I found a wonderful book for Jessie,
Hanna Barbera Animal Follies, with a story
about Ruff and Reddy and the men from Muni Mula. That's aluminum spelled
backwards and that's exactly what you need to work your seance: a Muni Mula
power cone, over which you can chant, "Muni Mula, Muni Mula." In the interim I
have found you a temporary power cone, which I enclose with this letter. And
make no mistake; this is the thing, even if it's only a paper cup. It has
great psychic powers. It willed me to remove it from the dispenser at the
service station and mail it to you, so I rest my case.
Why didn't you tell Susan to buy a toy telephone, in case John wanted to call
her? I read somewhere spirits do that, but if spirits could call you on the
phone, Wade would have already called me. He loved to talk on the phone and he
called me from all over the world, just so I could say I had been called from
that part of the world. Oh, Lord! Just as I was typing this, Jessie's toy
phone rang of its own accord, I swear, and I nearly jumped out of my skin. But I am not
going to answer it!
My baby chicks are ready to come out of the brooder and I am expecting a new
brooder load next Thursday. Three of the chicks are Frizzles. Their feathers
stick up and sort of curl forward. They resemble a porcupine but with
feathers. My friend Joey is giving me the three that hatched with his eggs, so
I am going to have a regular little flock of them. Some of our new chickens
are Arraconas (no telling how it is actually spelled). Arraconas are supposed
to have lower cholesterol. Joey said no cholesterol, but it is impossible for
an egg to contain no cholesterol, by virtue of what it is. Although Publix
carries a lower cholesterol egg that is white, I don't think Arracona eggs will
ever appeal to a large market, because they are green. Dr. Seuss would eat
them with ham, and so do we.
We have a Rhode Island Red named Selma, who is one boss ugly chicken and lays
eggs the size of cue balls. One of the chickens had a cold so they are all
taking chicken medicine, which you mix with their water. According to my
chicken book, if I did not quit messing with their nests, they were never going
to lay right. Every time they got a nest wallowed out the way they want it, I
go rushing in there and clean up the chicken crap and replace the hay.
Fluffing up beds is just ingrained in an old nurse. I don't want the chicken
pen to smell like a chicken pen, so it gets mucked out as much as Moore's stall.
But the chickens seem much happier with their nests, now that they have them
urethaned with chicken crap. The day I was torturing the chickens about their
messy nests, they laid their eggs on some hay in the corner, so I knew the book
must be right. Oh, by the way, I know what it is that gives Bird's Nest soup
its flavor, and my advice to you is not to eat it.
Moore is so funny about the chickens. Every night when they roost, he lies
down, too. And their pen is always filled with hay that he dropped while he
was standing with his head hung over their stall watching them. And his hay
consumption is up about two bales a week because he stays in his stall and
hangs out with the chickens. Of course, he doesn't allow the chickens in his
stall; whenever they come in he shoos them out. Perhaps Moore is just trying
to figure out a way to get in there and stomp them.
I will cease regaling you with chicken news and await your forthcoming letter
with great anticipation. Please don't let my sťance-disbelief chatter affect
you in any way. If you can contact John, I definitely want you to do it and
tell me about it. Write soon.
Page 1 - How I Wrote This Book | The Root Doctor
Page 2 - A Spell is Cast | The Voodoo Priestess | Psychic Healing
Page 3 - Sudden Death | A Hole in the Wall | Crystal Woman
Page 4 - The Seance | The Light
Page 5 - The Portal |
Wings of Love | Bene Ha Elohim
Lord Pacal and the Maya
Page 6 - Pacal's Bride | Wacah Chan | A Murder was Committed
The Mysterious Woman | A Swarm of Sparks
Page 7 - The Vortex |
Portal in the Cathedral | Guede Cosmo
The Androgyny | The Philosopher's Stone
Page 8 - Sexual Alchemy | Tantra Yoga | Feng Shui
Page 9 - Keys in the Enochian Language | The River of Life
Page 10 - The Number Four | The Phaistos Disk
The Star of David
Page 11 - Sacred Indian Ground |
Rules of Congaylia | The Heaven Plane
Page 12 - The Lovers | Ancash-Tica
Page 13 - Searchable Index | Bibliography
DISK OF THE WORLD
A Spiritual Revelation about the Enlightenment and its Social Oppression
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